Me And The Gang

The torture group used their history of torture on me during the first year of schizophrenia to manipulate me. They also used my real life history which they had been a witness to and participant in. They liked impersonating people from my past like my school friends whom I hadn’t seen since I dropped out of public school and went into homeschooling in 1996.

It started off with stories about a strange event I saw in school. The janitor or someone was working around the back of the bathrooms and I thought it was weird. I didn’t recognize him. The torture group said something devious and violent like rape had occurred to a school friend of mine and me. They said that was a repressed memory.

One day the torture group ran through a series of stories about my old school friends like Kaylee, Marissa and Laura Beth. They said how my old friends had all been victimized by what was at the time called my psychic power. They had all had horrible experiences occur because of something, something which was my fault. This story came back now and again for about a month. Then it only returned when the torture group referenced how they tricked me.




I was sitting in bed reading during a early episode during my first week of schizophrenia torture when in popped a character named Desiree. She was shockingly similar looking to a person I knew. She was an impersonation of Bob’s youngest daughter. Who was black. I didn’t even know this at the time for certain. I’d only seen some rumors online. The character participated in one brief torture attack and then went away for a while. Later she would appear here and there. She was a background character. She spoke she had a distinct voice. She never was in a scene by herself. The real Desiree’s appearance was unconfirmed by me for another several years.

They revamped everything for the David months and reused the same characters visually and vocally. I still haven’t confirmed any but the most accessible of the people impersonated. They were similar to the the impersonations but not accurate like the Bob Dylan, Jakob Dylan and Jesse Dylan. Others were based on information I found while researching the crush on Bob then Jakob before the schizophrenia torture started.

With the character of Jakob Dylan’s wife they based it off the person I found in a Google image search. Perhaps it was a random Paige Dylan. However they went about it they picked wrong deliberately. They chose a heavyset blonde with a round face who looked nothing like the real Paige Dylan. They never corrected this error. They just substituted what information I couldn’t confirm accurately for their own. I didn’t find out what the real Paige Dylan looks like for five years.

The characters of Jakob Dylan’s family are based on what information I could find on them during the pre-schizophrenia crush attack on Jakob. I found scant information. I didn’t find any pictures of some of the people that were later used as characters in the torture. The torture group decided to go ahead and use them anyways. Jakob Dylan’s son Levi is now out in the public eye many years after I saw the impersonation of him and I can confirm that he looks nothing like the impersonation I saw. Good for the Dylan family for locking things down tight.

In the second year the secondary and background characters also vanished along with anyone not said to be working for the company during the first year of my schizophrenia torture. The torture group dropped a massive amount of characters and available content in favor of moving in new torture. I think the computer programs using these visual animated scenes with voices added to them are able to run only the one or few ways. The torturers working my case had a different plan and being interacted with was over with. Now I would be talked at or hear talking for me to overhear without conversation and back and forth.


I Prayed

I wasn’t raised with religion. I’d gone to Sunday school once or twice with my friend’s family. But my family didn’t have anything to do with God except for using his name in curses. So in 1996 when they anxiety torture picked up in earnest and I begin to pray I found myself curious as to what would happen. It was the torture group who had control of me and was forcing me to act out this behavior. This was reflective of them and their beliefs.

I would lay in bed after a fight I started and pray silently to god. I heard the voice of my thoughts asking god to end the problems that made my family so mean and upset me all the time. Please fix things I asked. I was hearing the thought voice. This wasn’t my own thoughts. The torture group had only just introduced religion as a belief system and was showing me through demonstrations how people practice one part of religion.

Things quickly went south. After I prayed for some length of time and nothing changed for the better the torture group used their control over me to force another private acting out. I started cursing at and flipping off god. Who was somewhere in the heavens above me. About where the torture group positioned themselves. I was in a way flipping off and cursing at the torture group, my watchers above. I was always alone in my room when I did this.

I gave up on god according to my thought voice. For years she theorized about his nonexistence and how colorful and creative the stories in religions were. But slowly creeping back into my thought voice narration was the belief not in god but in a higher power. A something, she said, made things the way they were. And I was a victim of fate and destiny. I think my torturers are more religious then they raised me to be. Or once again they were talking about themselves.

Clap On, Clap Off

For all of my torture and as long as I can remember (which are the same length of time) I’ve seen street lights go out around me every now and again. They don’t flicker. They don’t turn on. They sometimes go out when I’m passing them by. Ask my mother and she will say as she always has half jokingly “I put out that light, with my magnetic force”. She believes in this kind of stuff. I however experienced the full story and can now share it with you…

During the first few months of my schizophrenia torture when I would walk at night to relax myself I found that street lights north of my house would randomly go off. One night while I was walking in the park near there I was instructed to go sit on the swings on the playground and then I was given a show. In front of the older kid’s playground at the park by my house is a old fashioned looking lamp light placed in the middle of the grass. As I watched the light in front of the playground was going on and off while I swung on the swings. The light went off in a controlled fashion. Jakob, who was the main character at the time, would predict when and for how long the light would go on and off. This was a continuous mechanized flickering. This was said to be a special show and it was claimed that city lights were actually being shut on and off by a controller at the city’s electric company control center and Jakob was telling that person when to turn the light on and off.

That’s the story. The torture technologies interfere with one other modern technology. They temporarily put out electric street lights. Presumably when they come into contact with the beam of the technology as it’s in use. Likely a specific use and/or a specific one of the technologies. If you’re ever around a torture victim and you see this event occur then it’s one way you can know for sure that the torture group is active. There are these subtle and indirect ways of detecting the torture group in action.

Hawaii 2012, New Years

I had agreed to go to Hawaii with all but one of my immediate family members for a week after Christmas 2012. The torture group chose to threaten to make me act suspicious from torture symptoms and be pulled out of line by TSA or make me have a seizure at the airport and other such threats. They’d revealed their control of my body and were having fun with what they could demonstrate on me for me to experience. It was enough to send me into hysterics. One day before the trip I told the family that I thought I might not be able to go while sobbing. Then I went and made it there anyways.

This was my first trip after the schizophrenia torture had begun. First flight, first time trying to relax, first time away from home. Though they threatened big they went into the same old regular vacation torture mode. Which means that they put me into polite and quiet mode. I seem anxious and shy when this occurs. Instead of me being a problem the family got annoyed with my brother. Which is typical.

Things went normal there despite the newest raises in my daily torture activity. There is a type of torture they’d been doing since the schizophrenia started during family holiday celebrations where they lowered everything but the thought voice program and made her extra critical of me and my actions while reminding me I was being tortured. So they did that for most of the trip except for some times when I was alone in my bedroom or outside smoking alone. Then I got a few of the new schizophrenia style torture attacks.

The trip was successful as far as vacations go. Only because nothing bad with the torture group did occur. On the flight home in the last hour of the five hours it takes to fly from Hawaii to Southern California the torture group laid down a visual torture attack. As I looked upwards at the ceiling of the plane it was visibly moving from side to side in an optical illusion type of visual attack the torture group can do. It sounds kind of normal but I’m not talking normal at all. I was incredibly worried that it would be getting worse. They stopped and let me get home without incident. All their threats and they carried through on none of them.

Las Vegas, 2008

I was excited to go to Las Vegas with my twin sister and my mother for my twenty-first birthday. That excitement died quickly when I got there. It was too busy. I’m not supposed to like places that are busy. Too many people, too many flashing lights and my torture goes crazy. I think the torture computer has trouble processing it but no trouble throwing down torture attacks in response. It started when I found out there was no smoking in my room. I couldn’t find the smoking lounge. I wasn’t allowed to smoke inside by the torture group. Except for one visit to have my first adult drink in a bar which was enjoyable. I could have smoked in the casino but that felt wrong. I wanted to be as alone as possible. I like to smoke outside.

I was grumpy and stayed in the room for most of the trip. It’s this behavior which lead to fighting between all of us. But it was the long trip home which caused an eruption. I was so fed up with the smoking situation and all the stress of being around people with the added bonus of a hours long drive home while unable to smoke that we went at it. It was me and my mother mostly. In return for her gift the torture group decided to abuse her. At one point I asked her to let me out of the car and to drop me off wherever we were. But we were an hour from home and she refused. This request continued until we got off the freeway. It was then that I made my move.

I asked to be dropped off again. She refused. I opened the door as we were moving. She thought she’d call my bluff and kept going, I wasn’t bluffing. I jumped out of the car as she drove at a casual speed. My sister screamed my name. I don’t remember much but for rolling and twisting as I hit the street. It was shocking and startling but not too scary. When I got up a stranger had pulled over to see what had happened but drove off when she confirmed I was an adult doing a ridiculous thing during a supposed family spat. My mother stopped to check on me. I gathered myself up and started walking home which was only three or four blocks away.

My mother drove off. I felt shaken. I had pulled out some hair, ripped off the laces on one shoe and skinned my lower back falling out of the car. But I had my purse with me and stopped for cigarettes. I walked all the way home just fine and got my other sister to help me clean and treat my back. I was very lucky. It was a stupid and dangerous thing to do. I had a crick in my neck for a few days. This was the third time I consider the torture group to have played fast and loose with my life. All I know is the thought voice said jumping out of the car would be fine and it almost wasn’t. My temper carried over into other bad behavior for many years until the second year of schizophrenia torture. Now it’s a rare occurrence.







A Million Little Army Boots

I had ear aches around the time of my earliest torture experience. This was around 1990 when I was four years old. It might have been a regular illness coinciding with my torture or it might have been a physical reaction to the torture. The torture group might know the answer to that but they aren’t telling. Maybe I’ll find out after the torture is over and the torture group’s surviving records are examined. Or from the torturers themselves during interrogation.

Anyways, I had ear aches which were severe enough to require frequent trips to the doctor and antibiotics. It was so bad that as my father used to say “Don’t give her the pink baby antibiotics”. I needed the adult stuff to make it go away. These ear aches and infections got bad enough that I needed tubes in my ears. Tubes, I believe, open the ears for fluid to drain. As the child ages and grows the tubes naturally fall out or in one instance of my case can be removed easily.

I would often get the ear medication in liquid form. This meant I would have to lie down for some length of time as the medicine slowly dripped into my ear. This was excruciating. Not because of any normal reason but because I was being tortured at the same time. There was a specific type of pain attack being used in connection to the ear aches and related problems. There was a singular torture attack connected to the medicine.

As I lay on my side with the medicine drip, drip, dripping drop by drop into my ear I could hear an intensified stomp of a million little feet marching. The torture group would sing to me “The ants go marching one by one” and I could see a visual of an army of ants, ants in army boots, marching down a tree. The ants were the medication marching into my ear and I could feel them entering my ear. This attack was painful because the torture group are cruel like that.

My ear stopped getting infections and I didn’t have to go through this torture attack anymore. It’s possible that my body acclimated to the torture with the help of many a strong dose of antibiotics. This torture attack and specifically one incident where everyone went off to visit with my Aunt C and left me alone with my medicine are still strong and clear memories from my torture even now almost three decades later. During the September-November, 2011 months of the first year of schizophrenia torture the torture group replayed the pain attack I used to get. I cried at experiencing it again. It was loathsome.