I had about five years were I barely took a sip of alcohol. Which was odd. Drinking problems were never a thing for me. It all came back to the beginning of my schizophrenia when I tried to drink to dull the torture activity and things went bad. The alcohol meant the torture group now had a better excuse for eliciting from me stranger behavior. The whole first year of schizophrenia was strange for me so the alcohol wasn’t a big problem. They just decided I shouldn’t drink for a while.
I wouldn’t find this odd except I had always been comfortable with drinking. From my early drunken experiments to my dinners out with family I was not at risk of alcohol being a problem. When I drank a whole bottle of wine during New Years, 2012 I believe the torture group came to an impasse. They had to decided how they wanted me to cope with being tortured. Understand, they control me. They get to make that decision on my external coping strategy. They chose stone cold sobriety.
I don’t mind this because all of my lessons with drinking and drugs taught me that the torture technologies can interfere with and override my altered state to the point where I am as miserable drunk and high as I am sober. The technologies are just too strong. Now I’m drinking again. For about a year now I’ve been drinking socially; very little but certainly more than none.
Boy, did I not miss the way the torture group makes alcohol taste. They put a special flavor to it. It is literally one of the heat and nasty taste sensations. One time during 2011 I tried my dad’s whiskey on the advice of the torture group. They wanted to demonstrate how good alcohol can taste. The difference between what the torture group does to every alcoholic drink I’ve ever had before and after and this one delicious glass of whiskey I had was like honey and vinegar. All liquor tastes searing to me. I know, I know cheap alcohol is supposed to be scathing to taste and that burning mouth and throat feel is well talked about. My burn is something else. It’s the torture technology. At least I know it can be different. I wonder what else will be?