Mmkay

So I have all these anxieties which I worry and fret over as part of my torture. There are the things I do. Which are things I get anxious about doing. There are the things I don’t do, like work, have friends, these normal things. Which are things the torture group doesn’t want me to do. Because it is hard for them and the torture computer to deal with, control and torture along with. If I’m anxious before doing some things that’s “proper” for my anxiety torture. That happens in the real world. But if I then am forced to do this things while being tortured, this thing which I was terrorized about, I’m finding out it’s not the big deal it was made to seem.

So I’m an anxious presumer. I predict what’s going to happen in the future event I’m obliged to participate in. No. The computer does. The computer which thinks all things including future events have been written down on its list of all things which are possible. The computer is worrying me about the future then flawlessly performing nonetheless. This is teaching me to not believe what the computer says about the future. By rote.

I understand my anxiety was a ploy to fix my life into one the torture group could torture better in. My schizophrenia follows the same rule. I get torture for the anxiety and now I’m getting schizophrenia related anxiety torture. I’m being falsely made to experience anxiety attacks. And it’s got nothing to do with my reaction to an impending future events. It’s only a part of my torture.

I’m confused about what’s going on here. If I were to be anxious, as in afraid and alarmed at the thought of doing something, might it be good to terrorize me for real. If I’m intended to be taught that life is something to be afraid of I can’t be living like I am. I’m under the control of an inhuman machine manned by sadistic abusers who violently harass me every second of every day. I’m at risk of accidental death from this. What do I have to fear?

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