I had one serious suicide attempt which landed me in the hospital. I’ve written about it here before. I want to talk about a curious incident that happened during that event. Let me get into detail here…

I lost consciousness not because of the pills I took but because I fell asleep. Something in the morning woke me up. I remember crawling around on the floor, trying to get back in bed and hitting my face on the bed rail. I don’t remember throwing up.

When my mother got me to the hospital they had to put a catheter in. It was then that my mother says I started kicking and fighting them. I don’t remember this. I remember waking up with my brother next to me.

All of these details are interesting considering my torture. I know I was woken up in the morning in an effort to revitalize me after being drugged. I was not too far into the overdose to be controlled by the torture technology and forced to vomit. But why did I fight the catheter insertion? Was that me doing it or the torture group? Why would they fight it? I have no memory past hitting my face on the bed. I had apparently crawled my way to the door. What caused me to stop? Did I pass out or did the torture group lose control of my body? Something happened during this event. Nothing’s been explained to me yet.


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