Neglecting Them in Return

I used to get calls from my family for my birthday and Christmas. that is if we weren’t spending the time together in celebration. They just stopped calling when I turned eighteen. Then I only saw them at family get togethers. We celebrated Mother’s day Easter, Father’s day, Fourth of July and Christmas together. So I saw my father’s side of the family often enough. My mother’s side of the family I saw even less due to an issue between two of the adults in her family. Combined with my lack of friends since the onset of the anxiety torture in 1996 I haven’t had a lot of outside contact and socialization. The torture group prefers this.

I have all these people who love me and like spending time with me and the torture group doesn’t let me have any serious relationship with them. My cousins all around my age are neglected. My cousins, aunts and uncles barely exist in my life. This got more and more real for me as I’ve watched family members struggle through hard times. Times when my support would have been an important thing for them to have. Even the uncle who I’ve had the closest relationship with has fallen away. It’s like I barely have any family other than my parents and siblings.

It was behavior like this that lead to the treatment of cousin C shortly before her death. The torture group can never be forgiven for this decision. C had asked for a stronger and more consistent relationship. She wanted us to always stay in contact making it mandatory that we communicate at least once a week. The torture group followed that promise until the week before C’s death. Their decision to return to old neglectful behaviors cost me the last contact I would have had with my cousin. I’m now repeating my bad forced behavior with everyone else. I’ve learned the lesson over and over. The torture group just doesn’t care that deeply about my people.

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