Outside Opinions

My mother says “I believe you’re experiencing what you say. I disagree about why.” My father and siblings all say it’s schizophrenia.

There was a time when I desperately felt the need to convince them of the truth. Their response to my outlandish behavior showed me how much they were deeply concerned for my well being. Their inability to fathom I might be telling the truth about being tortured is a tragic misjudgment and unintentional betrayal in our relationship.

You get very frustrated when non-victims dismiss the torture experience. I need help. I’m being attacked and I can’t make it stop. No one has been willing to fight by my side from my family. It’s upsetting still. To be doubted on the most serious event in my life. I’ve been grossing neglected by the last people I expected to do so.

I’m more often too busy trying to be the  minimally normal to care. When I do get upset I have to swallow it down. I can’t blame them for being deceived. They aren’t intentionally harming me. They would do anything and everything if they knew it was true. They don’t yet. I have to be patient.

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