There was one brief day when I almost made it into adulthood. The torture group doesn’t let me handle things. They don’t want me doing adult things like balancing a budget and taking the bus to my doctors appointments. It’s too taxing on the torture computer. Better to live a sheltered and coddled life. Until the one day when I didn’t.
In 2011 I was sent to the county mental health office after my forced hospital visit to continue getting schizophrenia medication. I had no insurance. My parents made me do it and my father went with me. We had to wait hours to get our interview. When we made it in something happened to me.
The woman processing us decided to speak to my father, instead of me. All of a sudden I sat up straight, looked her calmly in the eye and firmly requested she speak to me the patient instead of my companion. But I dropped away. So she turned back to him and started up. I switched back on and repeated the request. Then I dropped off again.
This is the only time in the first year of schizophrenia when the woman in me appeared. This is the first and only time I was allowed to be an adult. I was put back into the children’s room.
Analysis: This is an utter anomaly. It’s like in all of the controlled chaos of my new schizophrenia torture someone hacked into my torture case and played with the programming. This is not what the torture group does with me. I think it was allowed because of the behavior shifts done during the changeover from anxiety torture to schizophrenia torture phase. I think a few things which happened during that one year were freak occurrences.