The Source

Back in 1996 when my anxiety torture first began the torture computer told me something. It said I had to know the source information for everything and then I would be able to understand what people were talking about. I was ten. It was a computer. I was never going to win this challenge. This was impossible.

The computer was telling me how it acts. It requires all information intake to match to information it holds in its memory storage. It can’t function unless it finds a match. This means I didn’t commit an action in response to my teacher’s instruction unless the computer located the file for that action based of what it confirmed from the teacher’s verbal instruction.

This was one way for the torture group to time out my anxiety torture attacks. They allowed the computer to run them in response to a computer error occurring. My memory of living with anxiety is an intrinsic memory of the computer’s propensity for error.



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