Early Memory #2

I remember one day when I was at my aunt and uncle’s house. I remember this because this is one of my earliest memories of being tortured. This would have been right around 1990 before my grandmother died and I saw less of those relatives.

I was in my cousin’s bedroom playing with the toys. I remember every toy I played with. The torture group ran a few torture attacks, one vaguely sexual. I remember that I felt like I belonged. I was oblivious to things that were going on around me. I was lost in the torture. The torture at the time was playing games to amuse me.

Roughly five years after this attack my attention would be permanently set to the outside world. I would from that time on always be on alert to other people and the actions occurring around me in a way I never had before.

The next time I would be drawn into myself was for the schizophrenia torture. See, my family noticed I was acting differently in 2011. They didn’t realize I’d been different for sixteen years prior.

It’s interesting to me that my inner world as created by the torture group was visible in part externally when I was being controlled by the torture group. The torture symptoms I display are false. No victim reacts naturally the way I have. Yet in my schizophrenia torture symptoms I’m similar to other victims.

The torture group felt comfortable these times cutting off my ability to pay attention to the world around me. They secluded me with themselves. It was okay for them to do. The torture can be different things for different victims. I’ve experienced more than one method of torture.


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