I am daddy’s girl. Or at least I was prior to my torture. It seems that when the torture group took control of my body they wanted to hide their presence by continuing my normal behaviors from pre-torture. This wasn’t the worst thing to do. I mean to others not for me. It falsifies a relationship by tricking the non-victim into thinking they have a relationship with me when they do not.
The relationship with my father under the premise that we were very close wasn’t harmful until my anxiety torture began. It seriously damaged us. Or rather his relationship to me. The fights we had were intense. The up and down in our mood towards each other was stressful for him to endure.
The torture group chose to do some violent things much of them my father correctly calls emotional abuse. He can’t forget the time they had me say in anger “If I had a gun I would shoot you.” I heard the thought voice say in my head I am mad, mad, mad not I want to harm him. It was a thing said in anger but not serious. He took it seriously.
Acts like that were detrimental to our relationship. I find it worse that the fake relationship was forced and then shattered then if it had vanished due to my torture initially. We’re still the most connected of my family relationships yet not the worst damaged from my torture.