I vividly remember my past torture. I only remember my life through the filter of my torture. It’s the thought voice which is reminding me. She only knows the torture. Not my inner thoughts.
I’m only able to share information approved by the torturers. This information is shared with me right before and as I’m writing it down. If I’m told it other times it’s often gone for good. The thought voice can compose a whole paragraph and then delete it. It doesn’t go into storage for use later.
The torture group is not training me to remember. They don’t engage my memory skills in any way. The thought voice is not just my memory she’s their psychological manipulation and a liar. So how am I supposed to be changed into the person they’re creating me into? I never practice. It’s a weird torture.