Best Friends

I haven’t had friends in twenty-two years. Once I left school I left all my friends behind. Before that I had many schoolyard friends and even two best friends. People got along with me. That’s what I’ve been told by them and others.

My earliest best friend was around preschool age. I think her name was something like Jessica. It was either right before my torture or in my earliest years as a torture victim. We lived next to each other. I don’t have any memories of her which suggests the torture group doesn’t know much about her.

In elementary school Laura was my best friend. We were the closet we could have been considering what my torture had made me. Laura moved away in fourth grade and that was around the time my anxiety torture was first entering my life. We had a big fight the last time we saw each other. Laura and I remained penpals for a while until it seemed like she lost interest in our friendship.

I then grew close to a girl I remember as Amy. She was trouble. She encouraged me to be disruptive in class. We played in class until we were seperated. Then I don’t remember her anymore.

I was friends with everyone in my grade level. We banded together due to sharing class time. Some I knew well others I only remember odd details about.

I became close with a group of girls in my class. Marissa and kaylee were two I remember best. We were a clique.

After my anxiety took me out of public school I had only friends left over who were friends with my family through our parents. Michelle and Cayla the twins and Cori were friends that I was never close with but hung out with when our parents put us together.

When I was in Utah I of course had friends. Dionne might have been the name of my closest friend at the first school because we were the youngest on our team.  At the second Utah school I was not close with anyone but we all got along. I almost kept in contact with Liz except the torture interfered. I called her once and then hung up on her.

Aside from these friendships I haven’t had relationships with anyone but for my family who I’m not super close with. There is no one now that I spend time with outside of family. The torture group decided to sever all ties with people my own age. I was isolated from everyone but siblings and cousins. They didn’t like how much these people took my attention off being tortured.

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