The torture group does not take holidays. They don’t give the victim a day off if something like a death happens. The torture group never halts their torture for any reason. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced or at least been awake for a break in my torture. The torture group seeks to sustain a consistent level of stress for the victim and occasionally make them explode.
The torture group has been with me through four family deaths now. The most recent being one of my closest family members. The torture group makes me mourn. They make me cry. They make me mope. All while they barrage me with memories of my deceased family member in video and audio form. It’s a torture attack in itself.
I understand that having me externally display emotions and emotional experiences like mourning is necessary as the torture group controls my body. I seem normal because of it. Why I’m internally beaten up and forced through a mourning cycle is dumb. Just stupid. It’s like they think they control my actual feelings.
This is how my torture has always been. I’ve lived through twenty-eight years of being forced to act out actions, opinions and emotions I don’t have. I’m not this person they’ve forced me to be. Underneath it all I have my own thoughts and opinions, emotions and tastes. They refuse to recognize me. I hope I can pay them back for doing this to me.