Premonition

In my first therapy school visit in Utah the doctor in charge asked me an interesting question. He asked “How do you hear your thoughts?” I replied “In my head like they are talking to me.”  He determined from this interview and the information my parents had given him on me that I was schizophrenic. I was thirteen. This reply was the only evidence anyone had ever come up with that I suffered from schizophrenia. Doctors are loath to diagnose childhood schizophrenia. I was clearly mis-diagnosed and my parents made the doctor stop giving me schizophrenia treatment and medication.

This was a fluke. The torture group was not shown to be active merely due to the misinterpretation of my words. The doctor was wrong here. But the statement remains relevant. Because I did and do hear a thought voice, in my head, speaking to me. There are other incidents of the torture group before the time when I was able to speak of them.

When I was in my early twenties my family’s rental house was empty. This meant until it was rented we could swim in the pool. This was a nostalgic spot. I wasn’t supposed to but I snuck away the keys and went over to swim by myself. While I was there I imagined I was with friends. I had no friends. I conversed with my friends being the wit that I am. We were deep in party talk when my father caught me. He didn’t think much of it then. It seems more important now.

I used to sit on my grandmother’s patio when I was being homschooled and wasn’t trusted to be left alone. I would sing to myself and act out the roles. I remember seeing the things I sung come to life.

When i was first truant from school it was before my parents really noticed. By the end of elementary school it was a problem that enraged them because they couldn’t fix it. At one time my mother decided I should be punished so she would lock me out of the house and leave me bread and water. It was only for seven hours. I got bored and hungry quick so the torture group showed me how to sneak into the house through the windows. I was the queen of entering through on elusive six foot high 9×9 wide window. My father tried to seal the Windows off from the inside but I learned to go in when everyone was home and pry off the locks. So they conceded and took the cable from the tv so I couldn’t watch and relax all day. I found my own cable a hid it around the house only using it when they were gone. My parents tried really hard to instruct me right but i was led by a group of ill intended adults. I wasn’t the innocent little girl they thought they had.

I had my fair share of interactions with the torture group before the June 20th, 2011 official announcement of their presence. They called themselves my imagination and my thoughts. They played many a game with me before they decided they wanted me really involved.

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