Miscellaneous Memories

These are more of the torture attacks from before the age of ten. I don’t know what the point of these were.

The finger

Another sexual torture attack I experienced happened often. It was a sensation in my vagina. The thought voice called it filling. I saw a hand with the pointer finger stretched out. I remember how relaxed my entire body felt.

Popcorn ceiling

As I lay doing nothing the torture group would show me cartoons. I would look up at the popcorn ceiling and look for shapes. When I could distinguish something the computer drew it in. Often these images became animated and short action scenes were shown. None of this was me. It was a computer program.

The glowworm

I would see a bandaid looking item laid flat that flew upwards and the ends meet together. As they touched I heard a snapping sound.


I had an imaginary pet horse that they said was a quarter horse named Quart. He had a stripe and a star on his face. He would come up to me and rub his velvety nose against my nose so I could feel the short soft hair on the bridge of my nose.

Rock a bye baby

While I heard the nursery rhyme being sung I would see an enormously tall medium thick smooth barked tree of that white tree color. In the top branches was the cradle which falls.

Deja vu

I would have a “dream” in the time before I was out of bed but still awake and then see a waking dream of the same exact visual when I was doing something like at a park with my family I would be shown the visual again and the thought voice would say “Déjà vu. I’m having déjà vu.” And I would expect the event to happen or be amazed to remember it.

The smears
I would see off color smears in irregular shapes on objects. These are one example of small visual attacks I received. These came back after 1996-2011 and disappeared again.


Published by ti30years

Living in So. California. Victim of the T.I. torture since 1990. Child and adult victim of the torture. I share my torture experience to help people learn about the torture which continues to plague me and others. Not your average schizophrenic.

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