A Memory Set Aside

Though I was a torture victim at a very young age the torture group was not willing to stop from treating me like they do their adult victims. Here is an example of the torture I experienced before my anxiety torture phase. I can only say this occurred somewhere from age four to ten. This was a dream attack at the time. Meaning I was probably trying to go to or waking up from sleep when I experienced it.

I am in bed. I feel asleep I’m so relaxed. But I’m not. I can see and hear. I see a room. I’m lying on the floor with my feet facing an open door. A group of adults are gathered in the room. The lights are bright. The walls are white. Two men are on top of me raping me. One is in me at the groin, the other is in me through my head. I can feel them inside me. They meet in the middle and I feel a violent striking in my stomach. I hear a clacking sound every time they hit in the middle. It hurts very badly.

To my left side a girl lies beside me being raped too. she’s about 12-14 years old. Shes not being raped the same way I am. She screams. Someone walking by outside the room hears her and shuts the door. I scream. I’m screaming and I’m asleep. So nobody can hear me.

This kind of torture when it occurred was barely referenced any other time. They did it and moved on. But I will remember it forever.

Analysis

This kind of torture attack was more common than it should have been. I can’t explain why the torture group believes sexual assault is a vital part of my torture. It’s inexplicable. It’s like it’s personal. Like the torturer is a pedophile preying on me without official orders. But I know that’s not true. It’s all clinical and cold.

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